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Women's Major League Unicorn Scoopneck Tee

$24.99$26.49

Women’s Major League Unicorn Scoopneck Tee

$24.99$26.49

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Description

Unicorns; every adventurer’s check-list has one somewhere on it, so how exactly does one go about earning the benevolence of one of these prized steeds?

The most "head-on" strategy is to provoke the charge of a Unicorn in front of a pomegranate tree. Once you have their agro, they charge, at which point you side-step and the creature will impale the tree, becoming a captive of it’s own temperance!

Another traditional method of hunting them, documented by Leonardo di Vinci, is by disarming the unicorn of it’s ferocity by entrapping them with a virgin.

Now people are going to ask, how did I go about capturing my unicorn? I didn’t have the gumption to play chicken with unicorn, let alone know a single virgin in all of Orhollow in my employment as a mere squire – so, I attempted the later method.

The general public and all of my companions truly believed me to be a virgin – so I put on a maidens dress, a long wig and stood outside the glade at edge of town. Plucking harp, I was able to capture the the attention of one magnificent specimen. It passed out in my lap, and when it was snoring, I tried to slip out from under it’s head – but the beast caught onto my plan!

Losing my wig in a fit of panic, I jumped onto the creature – mounting it backwards – as it sprung up and bolted into town. The townspeople, the mayor, the lords and ladies – they all watched me riding through the square wearing a dress, riding a unicorn backwards yelling " I’m a virgin! "

Impeccable, the memory of the people of Orhollow.

However, I did earn the pity of the Unicorn and so it stuck around.

People get so jealous and everybody says they want a unicorn, but nobody considers all the responsibility. You have to keep up an enchanted sylvan, it only eats these non-G.M.O. ( Non-Genetically-Magified ) toadstools from Whole-Arcana – they’re so high-maintenance.

But hey, don’t let me tell you what you want.  Go ahead, get your own unicorn!

This adorable tee is so soft and light that you’ll want to wear it again and again. It’s classic and stylish at the same time. Comes pre-shrunk to ensure a constant size over time and multiple washes.

• Pre-shrunk 100% ring-spun cotton
• 30 singles thread weight
• Classic contoured silhouette with side seams
• Single-needle stitched seamed collar
• Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem

Additional information

Weight N/A

Size Chart

 XSSMLXL2XL
Length (inches) 24 ½2526272829 ½
Width (inches) 15 ½1718202223
 XSSMLXL2XL
Length (cm) 626466697175
Width (cm) 394346515658
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