Major League Unicorn Tee

Description

Unicorns; every adventurer’s check-list has one somewhere on it, so how exactly does one go about earning the benevolence of one of these prized steeds?

The most "head-on" strategy is to provoke the charge of a Unicorn in front of a pomegranate tree. Once you have their agro, they charge, at which point you side-step and the creature will impale the tree, becoming a captive of it’s own temperance!

Another traditional method of hunting them, documented by Leonardo di Vinci, is by disarming the unicorn of it’s ferocity by entrapping them with a virgin.

Now people are going to ask, how did I go about capturing my unicorn? I didn’t have the gumption to play chicken with unicorn, let alone know a single virgin in all of Orhollow in my employment as a mere squire – so, I attempted the later method.

The general public and all of my companions truly believed me to be a virgin – so I put on a maidens dress, a long wig and stood outside the glade at edge of town. Plucking harp, I was able to capture the the attention of one magnificent specimen. It passed out in my lap, and when it was snoring, I tried to slip out from under it’s head – but the beast caught onto my plan!

Losing my wig in a fit of panic, I jumped onto the creature – mounting it backwards – as it sprung up and bolted into town. The townspeople, the mayor, the lords and ladies – they all watched me riding through the square wearing a dress, riding a unicorn backwards yelling " I’m a virgin! "

Impeccable, the memory of the people of Orhollow.

However, I did earn the pity of the Unicorn and so it stuck around.

People get so jealous and everybody says they want a unicorn, but nobody considers all the responsibility. You have to keep up an enchanted sylvan, it only eats these non-G.M.O. ( Non-Genetically-Magified ) toadstools from Whole-Arcana – they’re so high-maintenance.

But hey, don’t let me tell you what you want.  Go ahead, get your own unicorn!

Everyone needs a go-to, cozy sweatshirt to curl up in, so go for one that’s soft, smooth, and stylish. It’s also perfect for cooler evenings!

• 50% cotton/50% polyester
• Reduced pilling and softer air-jet spun yarn
• Double-lined hood
• 1×1 athletic rib knit cuffs and waistband with spandex
• Double-needle stitching throughout
• Front pouch pocket